Did I Dream THAT?!

The other night, I dreamed it was the end of the world. For a brief moment, gravity went bye-bye, so there were lots of floating cars and people. Then everything came down with an all-mighty CRASH! and a certain Mid Eastern country started bombing us.

Guess what? That was a mundane dream for me. Normally I’m being tortured or turned into a cyborg. Or I’m Spider-Girl or Superwoman. Sometimes I can teleport with a turn of the heel and the swish of a cloak. Usually, the dreams I have find me trying to save the day. Maybe I have a hero-complex (better than the darker alternative, the martyr-complex.)

Whatever the cause, dreams make good fodder for story-telling. I once had an vivid dream about an alien invasion. I plan on turning that into a book someday. I also dream titles: Mrs. Willoughby’s Regrets, for example (I even dreamed the premise that goes with it.)

So, the next time you ask a writer “Where do your ideas come from?” you’ll probably get the normal “Oh, from anywhere and everywhere” answer. This is true. But if you’re looking to become a writer yourself, why not keep a dream diary? The second you open your eyes, write down as much of the dream as you can remember. I also find it helpful to not open my eyes right away after having a dream. Just lie there and play the details through your mind again a few times.

Well, another random post for another random day. I’m off to check my email for the bazillionth time today.

Ciao, guys!

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

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Buttload of Writing to Do

The list of things to be written is growing. Oi vey. Do you want to see the list of titles? OF COURSE YOU DO!

Projects in no particular order (all are in various stages of development)

  1. Excalibur Lucan and the Medieval Murders
  2. Doggone It!: An Arthur Slow Mystery
  3. They Were Heroes: Jane Austen
  4. Willoughby’s Regrets
  5. Racing Through Time
  6. London Towne
  7. They Were Heroes: Emily Dickinson
  8. They Were Heroes: Charlotte Bronte
  9. They Were Heroes: Louisa May Alcott
  10. They Were Heroes: Gaston Leroux
  11. Villains: Mrs. Elton
  12. Villains: Fanny Dashwood
  13. Villains: Lady Catherine de Bourgh
  14. Villains: Mrs. Clay
  15. Steambeast
  16. The Latter Years: Pride and Prune Juice
  17. The Latter Years: Sense and Senility
  18. Pride and Prejudice – retelling
  19. Sense and Sensibility – retelling
  20. Jane Eyre – retelling
  21. Persuasion – Retelling
  22. The Phantom of the Opera – retelling
  23. The Scarlet Pimpernel – retelling
  24. Emma – retelling
  25. Salem Revisited
  26. Survival Boy
  27. Retirement
  28. Anti
  29. The Jane Austen Experiment
  30. A Comedy of Eyres
  31. The Woman in White – Screen adaptation
  32. The Footless Giant
  33. Written in Blood Orange
  34. Lady Catherine Tweets
  35. Wooing Miss Austen
  36. The Reign of Terror
  37. All-girl gangs (no title, atm)
  38. Hear Me Out
  39. Pride and Prejudice SECRET PROJECT
  40. Sense and Sensibility SECRET PROJECT
  41. Stage adaptation of The Moonstone
  42. Screen adaptation of The Moonstone
  43. Girl, Boy, Girl
  44. The Method (novel adaptation of my screenplay)
  45. Blink in, Blink out
  46. Dream-Walkers
  47. Summoned
  48. Time and Time Again
  49. The Disorderlies (book 2): Major Panic Time
  50. The Disorderlies (book 3): Bacterial Warfare
  51. Lady Knight
  52. Just Super
  53. Real Dreams
  54. Beth
  55. The Ham
  56. Jesse James
  57. “Face Time Impressions”
  58. Road Rage
  59. A Brush of Death’s Lips
  60. When You Die
  61. How NOT to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse: Book 1
  62. HNTSTZA book 2
  63. The Ripper Diaries
  64. The Voice Keeper
  65. The John Watson Diaries: Book
  66. The Anti-Villain
  67. DED: God Machine
  68. The Goblet Immortal
  69. The Shoe Fiit
  70. Child of the Past
  71. A Writer’s Guide to the Public Library
  72. Tender Moments series
  73. Austenites Anonymous
  74. Murder in the Afternoon: A Sweets and Sours Mystery
  75. In Defiance of Gravity
  76. Alien Invasion Novel
  77. Alien Invasion Novel Sequel
  78. The Highwayman
  79. Pirates for Hire

Oh, I left out some that are currently sans title. What am I doing fooling around on WP for? I’d better go write something!

The Buddy System

Music: Mixed tape (cool stuff, from the Poldark soundtrack to the Galavant soundtrack)
In the mug: Blueberry energy tea
Tea bag saying: Love is an elevated self (whatever that means)
#AmReading: All the Light We Cannot See (though I haven’t read much of it lately)

Yesterday was Writer Wednesday…for me, at least. It’s the day where I get to see at least one of my writer friends. We catch up on each other’s news (“Did the publisher get back to you?” “How goes the first draft?” “Any idea where this semi-colon should go?”), encourage each other, and sometimes (okay, usually) we write something.

When it’s not Wednesday, I still have writer friends I contact on my online writing group (The Critique Circle.) We do pretty much the same thing, encouraging each other, setting goals, catching up on what’s going on. ‘Cause let’s face it: this art thing is a lonely gig, and no man is an island.

If it takes a village to raise a child, then it sure as heck takes a community to nurture and grow a writer. We need that support, those people that nudge us in the right direction. We need to surround ourselves with fellow dreamers…and the people who will occasionally whip our butts into shape.

For my non-writer friends: when you’re on a diet or exercise kick, isn’t it easier doing it with friends for motivation? Or if you’re reading a book, isn’t funner to know someone who’s reading/has read the same thing so you can discuss it with them?

I think if I didn’t have a support system of fellow writers, I’d probably go bonkers and do something really stupid–like maybe quit. So thank you, thank you to those who are willing to come alongside me and be part of my buddy system. Let’s keep each other from drowning in Drafting Land, yes?

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

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Do you have anyone to go to with your writing woes? Your ups and downs? Take a moment to thank them.

Novel Teas and Fiction Flings

I kid you not, this was going to be a party-planning book from a person who has thrown precious few parties. I’ve thrown a Saint Patrick’s Day party, a bridal shower, a baby shower, and a book launch party. That’s it. But this book of party ideas was going to be different and special and oh-so-awesome. It was going to be book-themed.

The problem? I had never actually thrown a Lord of the Rings party (chapter one.) Well, unless you count the time I lit 144 candles on a cake for Bilbo’s 111 and Frodo’s 33 birthdays combined and coulda burned the house down. Yes, the problem was lack of experience…for writing the book, that is. Any idiot can melt a cake.

Some hated person once said “write what you know.” In the case of “Novel Teas and Fiction Flings,” I can see the merit in those words. But when it comes to fiction, IMO, the sky is the limit–unless you’re writing sci-fi/space opera/etc., where things, you know, happen in the sky.

A wiser person once said “write what you WANT to know.” I like that: the only limits are the depths of your imagination and curiosity.

So, someday, when I’ve made it big, I’m going to throw book-themed parties. And then I’ll write NT&FF. Because that’s what I do: write.

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

If You Can’t Think of Anything to Say…

…open a dialogue box and start typing, wot wot! Ready to find out what this blog post is about? ME, TOO!

There’s the old adage: if you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything. Let’s twist that a little, shall we? Let’s face it, I’m a little twisted anyway. Or maybe reword it is a better phrase:

The Internet is full of trolls: don’t feed them, and don’t become one. TROLL in the DUNGEON. TROLL IN THE DUNGEON…thought you ought to know *faints* (For all you non-Harry Potter people, I feel great pity.)

or

(To the tune of the hit single “Radioactive“)

I’m typing up
A quick response
To Rude_Butt_Number_One_Idiot
He’s really ticked me off now
Grr! RAWR!

I’m raging on
I’m calling names
He’s the one you should really blame
This is it: I’m reporting him. Whoa-oo!

I’m logging off

This tool’s got the best of me
I’m throwing fits (and my TV)
Welcome to a new rage
User webpage
I need to disengage
This day and age

Whoa-ooo, Whoa-ooo,
I’m over-reactive, over-reactive
Ooh, oohh,
I’m over-reactive, over-reactive

(bridge)

Anger’s got me snowed
The site has banned him and I
Don’t feed the trolls
They’re on ev’ry site

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Thoughts on trolls? Ever dealt with one?

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

The Wind Was a Torrent of Darkness

That got your attention, didn’t it? I like poetry. That dazzle-me line opens Alfred Noyes’s poem The Highwayman. And a poet’s gotta dazzle. Fiction writers, too. Especially in that blasted-hard first line. Yes, the last chapter of your book sells your next book. The first chapter though…*shudders*

I’m not going to write about how to write a killer opening sentence, especially since my blog isn’t 100% geared toward writers. I’m also not going to blog a bunch of awesome opening lines. Nope. That’s been done a million times. What I AM going to do is play a little game. I am going to POMP-UP or POMP-DOWN some famous first lines and see if anyone knows what the heck I’m talking about.

Ready? No? Too bad. (*Changed for spoilers)

Mystery lines:

  1. That time past was full of paradoxes.
  2. ‘“Yuletide shan’t be Yuletide with the absence of gifting,” bemoaned X.*
  3. Any man with good money needs a woman.
  4. The chance of taking a stroll during a particular day was non-existent.
  5. Two big to-do Italian families hate each other, but their kids have a thing for each other. Woe!

Are you able to guess any of those? Leave your thoughts in the comments, if you would be so good to do so, my friend. There’s a good fellow…or fella! …er, nvrmnd.

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

P.S. This post’s image is a hint for #4

P.P.S. It’s also meant to freak you out just a little.

P.P.P.S. Not a hint for #4 after all. So, yeah, just meant to freak you out.

Book vs. Movie: Lord of the Rings

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…It’s the battle of the ages! In one corner we have thhhhhheeeeee NOVEL! In the other thhhhhhheeeee MOVIE!”

CUT TO: men placing bets, popcorn salespeople hawking their popcorn, as they do.

“Our first contenders: Book Legolas vs. Movie Legolas. Let the match begin, and things!”

*bell dings*

Book Legolas notches his bow and shoots an arrow, which hits its mark.

Movie Legolas notches his bow with two arrows, slides down a set of stairs on a shield, shoots, and hits his mark

The points would seem to go to ML (Movie Legolas), BUT…

“Oh no! It looks like Movie Legolas pulled an illegal move. Apparently even in fantasy, some things need to be kept within the realms of believability (which spellcheck is telling me isn’t a word)…go figure.”

Round Two!

Book Legolas: *says next to nothing, is just cool*

Movie Legolas deals himself the death blow…

*horses whinny and paw at the ground*

Movie Legolas: “The horses are restless.”

One, two, three! HE’S OUT! (You say that in boxing, right? Yeah.)

Movie Legolas is decreed the Elven King of Obvious and is forthwith banished to Boredom! Long live Legolas of Bookdom!

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This post brought to you by the writer who is bored and should be sleeping.