IF = A Four-Letter Word

So, this blog post has almost zero to do with that ^ title. Haha. April fools!

No, I’m going to show you what it would look like if I had a live Patreon page. Ready?

My name is Beth, and today I was told I was brave for being a writer. The funny thing? I believe it.

I write novels, short stories, flash fictions, stage plays, and screenplays. I’m trying to take a traditional route–or, rather, a somewhat traditional route–with my writing. Someday I might self-publish, but not anytime soon, save for a page-a-day calendar I have in the works.

Here is a list of my top five novel projects, in order of priority:

1. The Warring Goblet (working title): Heroic fantasy, 50,000 words, minimum
2. Doomsday (working title): High fantasy, 50,000 – 90,000 words
3. Merlyn (working title): Urban fantasy, 50,000 – 90,000 words
4. The SAPIEN Complex: YA fantasy, 90,000 words
5. Murder in the Afternoon: Paranormal mystery, 75,000 words

The number of projects I have on back burners is over seventy-five, most of them a sub-genre of fantasy or mystery. My goal for 2016 is to finish The Warring Goblet, and to find an illustrator for my page-a-day calendar.

My writing stats from the year thus far:

Submissions: Eight
Rejections: Five
No responses: One
Acceptances: Zero
Words written: 20,000+
Pending responses: Fifteen or sixteen

Publication credits as of March, 2016:

In a Pickle, a middle grade book (2012, MuseItUp Publishing)
The Price of Secrets, a short story based on a scene from The Woman in White (2016, Zoetic Press)
Mirror Image, a short story (2010, The Literary Lab Presents Notes from Underground)
Cooking With Faust, a flash fiction (2010, Pill Hill Press’ Wretched Moments anthology)
Murder at the Orient Buffet, a flash fiction (Big Pulp)
A Fairy Tale Intervention, a flash fiction (AlienSkin)
The Laughing Nothing, a flash fiction (Poe Little Thing)
Dear P. Rinter, a flash fiction (Cool Stuff 4 Writers)
Hell on Ice, a flash fiction (Golden Visions)
Free Country, a flash fiction (The Cat’s Meow)
You Did This for Me, a flash fiction (A Things Girl)
Miss Overmyer, in the Computer Room, With the Keyboard, personal essay (Coffee Press Journal)

What is a patron? An angel. No, seriously, in theatre, that’s what you call the person/s who help/s fund a production. A patron for a writer could be called a God-send, in my book.

Actors are paid, even if in just comp tickets. Writers, however, do almost everything on spec, with a slim chance of breaking even.

Here are a few expense areas for writers:

– All the basics needed for a person to live on
– Internet for researching novels, agents, publishers, etc. (around $60, monthly–for my household, at least)
– Books on one’s craft
– Electricity to run a computer
– Paper and pens
– Writers conferences (have not the money to attend one, at the moment)
– Book Fairs
– Promotions (whether you hire a service or print out bookmarks advertising your work, for example)

and then there’s self-publishing expenses (if you go that route):

– Content editor
– Line editor
– Cover art
– Promotional services (optional)
– Jacket blurb (if you don’t do it yourself)

In pledging your support to me, you’ll be putting food in my muse’s mouth. Honestly, you’ll be helping meet my basic needs so I can focus on making new content.

________________________
From fantastical kidlit to everyday popular fiction, Beth knits together her prose in a small Ohio town. Her hobbies do not include cat-hating or traveling. She adores her cat “Bug,” and traveling will happen someday, but for now, the farthest Beth travels is the western parts of her brain during the cold, dark months of editing. In 2008, her screenplay The Method won best comedy in Gotham Screen’s contest, and her MG book In a Pickle (2012) is out from MuseItUp Publishing. Whatever the genre or age group, Beth is more than ecstatic to let her imagination take the wheel.

/Post

That’s just a rough draft, but I don’t think I’m going the Patreon route. I just thought I’d show you what I’m up to in a more…creative(?) way 🙂

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

Better Than Gray on Grey

A New Look for a New Year!

I’ve messed around a bit with the look of the blog. Whatchoo think?

If you’ll take a look to you left, glorious blank space (ooh la la!) Up above (repetitive, no?) a mug shot…but not mine. And on the right, next to that blog content stuff (who cares? No, I’m serious! SOMEBODY LOVE ME!), is my scroll-y sidebar of wonder, stuff and things. I feel I should capitalize that…

SCROLL-Y SIDEBAR OF WONDER! STUFF AND THINGS!

Exclamation. Exclamation. Exclamation. (Ex=no more, clam=a tight-lipped water creature. I had sugar. What’s YOUR excuse?)

The stuff and things are the ever-shiny follow button, a tag cloud for my posts, and the progress bars for my two works-in-progress. CIASG is a bit readier than it appears (I should update), as is “Goblets” novel (if only by ten words.)

I feel I should give you a treat for reading through all of that. I don’t know if this counts, but here is the last sentence I wrote (in all its unpolished wretchedness):

It would seem a useless exercise at this point, for their alcove was quite surrounded by the red eyes, whose owners’ growls and cries pierced the night.

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

End of January Report

Words written this year thus far: (at least) 7,910
Submissions made: 1
Rejections: 1 (for a submission made last year)
Creative writing group sessions planned and executed: 1 (with another one going on later today)

See, I’m making progress. Slow progress, but progress. Oh, and I got hit upside the head with another non-fiction book idea. Arr–I mean ugh. Don’t want you to get the wrong impression and think that my non-fic is about pirates 😉

How about YOU? What progress dost thou have to report?

As always, keep your pen on the page,
Beth

Drawing a Blank

I’ve been a bit…ah, tongue-tied lately, hence the blog silence. Birthday/Christmas/New Years tends to do that to me. Oy vey.

I get one thing in mind (like Christmas), and that’s about all I can think of. So, until the holidays are over and the winter gloom settles in, I don’t think much will be happening at the Overmyer household.

…besides tea-drinking. There will ALWAYS be tea-drinking.

Randomosity from today:

  • Had a writer friend over today and, well, WROTE

Before that happened, I:

  • Baked scones
  • Cleaned

After that I:

  • Washed dishes
  • Wrote more

Can’t you just IMAGINE how exciting my life is right now? Huh? Can you? CAN YOU?!?!??!?!??!?!?

Okay, backing off now…

The Cat has been waking me up at 3:30 in the morning by trying to open gifts. Seriously, Cat, NOT YOURS. Naughty. Coal for you this year!

Well, that’s all I’ve got. Off to think about Christmas probably.

Keep your pen on the page and share the egg nog,
Beth

Parody Hour

You walk into a bar. But it’s not any old bar. It’s a karaoke bar. But it’s not any old karaoke bar. It’s a Par-a-do-ke Bar! What will you sing? Here is an option (can you guess the original?):

Sweet dreams are made of tea
Oolong, instant, Dar-Jee-Ling
Sencha, Grey (Earl), and the Ceylon tea
Everybody’s looking for Assam.

Karaoke not your sing (get it? Sing for SCENE? AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA!) Roll up to the bar and get a drink. Only they don’t have any. Instead, they serve desserts. But not any old desserts. GEEKY desserts. (Points you if you can guess the references.)

  • Beam Me Up, Butterscotchy! (ice cream)
  • Wrath of Pecan (ice cream)
  • Red Wedding Velvet Cake
  • Weeping Angel Food Cake
  • Black Widow Raspberry (pie)
  • I Love you/I Dough(nut)
  • Pudding

But you’re watching your weight, so you skip the desserts, and ask where the bathroom is. You see this and leave: CLICK BAIT

__

This random Monday post was brought to you by late Sunday night desperation. Thank you.

Keep your pen on the page,
Beth

Randomosity

PROBLEM The Internet: the wonderful tool of procrastinators everywhere.

SOLUTION Writer’s Block, the free word processor that blocks you out of everything else (Internet, your wallpaper/icons, everything) until you reach your word quota…or the time limit you set for yourself.

(And now I really feel like an ad man–er, woman.)

EAR CANDY This song: Square Circles

EYE CANDY This painting: (warning: girl wearing very thin shift. You can see certain things. Since I’m a gal, it doesn’t bother me. Just a heads up.)

QUOTE “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried there, but actually you’ve been planted.” – Christine Caine

QUICK READ FOR WRITERS Marketing advice for indies (but I think it could work for small press authors as well): How I sold 978 Fiction Ebooks Per Day in 2014

Free Friday Read (Because I Felt Like It)

(This was written in last week’s writing group. We were all given the same opening line and were told to write the rest of the story until time was up. The following came from goodness knows where.)

Lace ties unraveled from her hair.

Rapunzel had been living a lie. Sure, she was stuck in that tall tower with the witch as her warden, and there really was a real prince who visited her every weekday when the witch was out. The lie? The lie was…complicated.

Her hair, her glorious golden locks, were full of lice.

Her Prince Charming, who climbed the long tresses hadn’t noticed…yet. Perhaps he figured that his raging case of itchy scalp was the fault of his faithful companion, a man named Philoneus, who was cursed to walk on all fours for the rest of his days, unless he found someone to love him just as he was–but that’s a different story for a different day.

Rapunzel had tried everything to get rid of the lice: shampoos, tea tree oil, hexes. But the lice were still driving her bonkers.

It came down to this: would she do what needed to be done to save her sanity and end the wretched itching? Or would she keep her true love?

“Sanity before hu-MAN-ity.” She lifted her straight razor and went to work on her hair. “Goodbye, Prince Charming, never to climb my locks again. Farewell.” The blade snicked across her scalp, golden waves tumbling.